Ten

Don't trust anyone who starts at the beginning, there is no way at the time to know what the beginning was.  How could we have known 7 years ago that one skirmish, out of a dozen that season, would lead to a war with no end in sight?  We could not, and so we could not have documented the carnage, and to start at the beginning would be a fiction, relying on imperfect memories to weave a story of our valiance in the face of our enemies abhorrence.  As I said, that would be a lie.

Instead I shall start today, not because a decisive battle has been won or lost, or a new ally gained, or a new weapon unleashed.  No, today was like any other day during the campaign season of the last 7 years with one exception.  Today is the day that I realized that this war will consume me, for instead of hoping to find and kill the last of them, I found myself hoping that I would continually find more, to continually be able to kill.  My desire for victory has been overwhelmed by my desire to see them suffer, writhe and die on the edge of my blade, and as such my story from here on will be one of violence and horror without any honor.

Ten I managed to eradicate today, seven where they lay but three I captured alive and returned to my Captain whose keen eyes and sharp beak made short work of them.  The effort of drudging back with my captives, one at a time, and presenting them to the Captain for execution was worth nothing outside of the pleasure of watching them squirm before her.  Ten fewer borers and a dozen gashes in the stems of our squash plants to be wrapped, to be tended to and to be nurtured indefinitely now.  My own blood splashed crimson on the leaves of the strawberry plants growing below them when I sliced through the stem and across the index finger of my left hand.  Rather than curse my clumsiness this time I smiled at the pain. 

Tonight I will try to sleep, though the desire to find and destroy my enemies tomorrow will keep restful sleep at bay. 

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